Greetings everyone!

I have been offline for quite some time, and I apologize for that. My second surgery in June took quite a bit out of me physically. What they found when they went in was a misplaced screw that was pushing on the herniated L4/L5, and a lot of scar tissue had built up around my sciatic nerves (ouch, I'll tell you). The damage has brought out some herniation at L3 and bulging at L2 and L1, although that's not too bad at all. I hope by continuing to use the inversion table, I can fix that. I just need to wait for clearance to hang upside down again.

At any rate, those first few months were agonizing. When I saw my surgeon in October, I was sobbing so hard by the time I reached his office that he sent me home and said, "come back next month and we'll see about starting PT then." I had to see my pain management doctor, and we tried a Flector patch for the fusion site itself. I did not find that useful at all, but it might work for others. What I have found was a website. I did a Google search in desperation and stumbled upon the McKenzie Method. It's an institute based out of New Zealand, and he runs a PT program specifically designed for us with extreme back problems. He also has a set for neck issues too. I mentioned him to my pain doc when I saw him, and he was surprised that I found him. He said that in his opinion, McKenzie is the best way to manage severe back problems, and I agree with him. The exercises are simple, and I saw an improvement almost immediately. It hurt at first, and my range of motion is nowhere near that of those in the videos, but I'm getting there little by little. I can now move forward and backward more than a half inch, and I can lean forward and backward a little. My biggest problem right now is the tightness of my muscles. I believe that if they would stop with the spasms and loosen up a little bit more, I'd be in much better shape. But I still do the exercises multiple times a day, especially after I have to run errands or drive for any distance, and I stretch every chance I get. My kids find it hysterical when I walk in the door and immediately get down on the floor. But I have found something that works for me, and I hope it continues to help. Thank you McKenzie Institute!

So Sunshine Rising was very delayed. For that, I apologize, too. I have finally finished it, and it's a long novel. Since it has characters from the entire series in it, there is a cast of characters, and I highly recommend using it so you don't get confused. Now that Sunshine Rising is complete, I'll be working right away on my next novel. I hope this year to publish four to make up for last year (barring any further back surgeries). Please keep your fingers crossed! I have several ideas popping in my head already, and I'm anxious to get them down on paper to keep you all busy. In the meantime, I do hope you all enjoy the new book, and I thank you again for your support and patience!

Most importantly, remember to take care of your back! You only have one, and it is completely devastating when you lose it. 

Surprise!

Some unexpected – but hopefully good – news. I saw my back surgeon on Thursday last week, and he scheduled me for another surgery tomorrow. It’s been quite a rush, but I’ve deteriorated rather quickly and he was quick to act. Once again, I’ll be visiting the beautiful hospital I went to last September and experiencing their five-star dining after enduring an exploratory surgery with a "bilateral foraminal decompression and laminectomy with additional levels and procedures as needed." Now those are my doctor’s words, so I’m not 100% sure what they mean. I’m thinking he might fix the herniation at L4 while he’s exploring the L5/S1 nerve root.

Alas, for all of us back sufferers, there is always that gleam of hope that this will fix it completely, and I admit I am feeling a little bit of hope with the normal fear. I keep chanting to myself, "the end is in sight!" :) I’m still working on Cooper’s Choice and remain optimistic that this will not prevent it from coming out next month. However, if something does happen, I will post here and let everyone know.

As always, thank you all for your continued support! You’ve been amazing at keeping me motivated, and I appreciate everyone’s kind words. There truly are some wonderful people out there, and every note, message and comment helps a lot! Thank you, thank you to all!

It’s been a very long time since I posted an update, but I do have good reasons for it.

After the busyness of the holidays, I began moving house. Remember the doctors warned me not to lift more than 5-10 pounds, right? Well, with no other choice in the matter, I did lift more than I was supposed to. It took me over a month moving very slowly to transfer everything – three kids and eight years of stuff… isn’t it amazing how much we accumulate? :o)

At any rate, starting in February, I noticed I was deteriorating. I took to bed first, thinking I had strained something. A few days later, there wasn’t much change, so I went back to my doctor for a stern lecture and some oral steroids. He referred me back to my surgeon, who reminded me firmly that I should not have done so much. He ordered a new set of x-rays and a CT-Scan. Three rounds of oral steroids and two exams later, I returned to my surgeon, and here are the results:

The fusion is healing. Although we feared I damaged the new bone, it held up and is growing. That was a relief – I can’t even begin to tell you – especially after that horrible surgery. However, it’s come to light that more of my discs have deteriorated. I’m back at square one again with degeneration, stenosis, nerve compression, etc., and that just about broke my heart. L2 and L3 are bulging, and the herniation at L4 has progressed further. It’s a different set of problems now, where I can’t move the toes much in my left leg, and it’s very weak, so “heavy” at times that I have to use my cane. I had to increase my dose of Percocet again (that was such a bummer after I had started weaning off all the medications), and the tears started coming daily again.

So after feeling this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and teetering on the edge of depression, I did an Internet search and found this terrific website called Spine-Health. They have a bunch of forums in there, and many of the stories I read were so similar to mine that I felt better. I guess it's true when they say misery loves company, LOL. I haven’t posted in any yet, but just reading through them has helped.

I’m sure many of you in the same situation can relate when I say it’s difficult when people don’t understand exactly what you’re going through. You look somewhat normal (unless you’re trying to move, LOL), so they have a tough time sympathizing with the pain you’re in. Friends want to know why you can’t hang out and don’t understand how sitting for more than five minutes at a time is excruciating. Family doesn’t understand why you can’t just pick up a laundry basket and carry it into the bedroom for folding when it only weighs a few pounds, etc. etc. They feel bad but can’t fully comprehend. So this website is a must visit if you’re in a situation like mine. It will help, trust me!

Anyway, so being back to square one means another round of injections. I had my first one last week and will have the second one tomorrow. It hasn’t helped much. I’ve also begun to use the inversion table again (boy, does it hurt!) in the hopes of sucking those bulging discs back in. I'm still doing the exercises daily, and I love the pool! Just dangling there is like heaven. My pain management doc believes that all those discs will have to be fused eventually, and that was a hard blow, but I’m trying hard to stay away from that. Time will tell, I suppose. I’ll be back to the surgeon again next month, so we’ll see if surgery is coming...

How is the writing coming along?

I’ve had so many emails asking about book six. It’s a huge honor to hear of everyone’s excitement for the next release, so please write away! I promise, I’m still planning on having it ready this summer. With everything else going on, it’s been hard to keep up, but I already sent the cover information to my cover artist, I’ve done a read-through, and next will be final edits and beta-readings. I’ve also started working on Cher’s story and the culmination of the Evans series. Book seven might end up being a bit longer, but it will have closure. Whoo hoo! Everyone will make an appearance in that story, and I’m hoping to have an exciting and suspenseful adventure bringing the bad guys to justice. If I can stay out of surgery, I’m aiming to have that ready to go this fall. I usually have my books done a year in advance, so I’ll be cutting it close this time. If that’s the case, I might postpone at the risk of quality. I want the final installment to be perfect! I’m sure you all understand. :o)

Thank you to everyone for keeping in touch. I love hearing from you, and it keeps me motivated to continue working. For those who follow my back progression, I hope you’ll continue to keep positive, no matter how overwhelming it all feels. You are not alone. There are others like us who feel the same way we do. Check out that website and maybe you can find some helpful tips and more hope.  

Here it is, six weeks following surgery, and it's just one week to go before Kat's Last Chance is released. I'm down to the wire and still doing my best not to overdo things at home. I had my X-rays completed and saw my wonderful surgeon yesterday, so let's start there with a quick health update.

So, six weeks later and I'm still using the walker on occasion. I've had two more spills since my last entry, both times coming out of bed. The sciatica that started the Friday (day 9 post-surgery) behind my knees is still present, and I was concerned about that. At times I feel as though my ankle is twisted, and if I crouch, I can't get back up because the pain is so intense. I discussed this with my surgeon yesterday, and he made a lot of sense. After all, for a year-and-a-half, I worked primarily from my bed, with pillows beneath my knees bending my legs. It was impossible to straighten them without pain. He so wisely informed me that those nerves are now being stretched, pulled on and realigned. It will take time for them to heal, especially since they were inflamed for so long. That gave me hope. He also mentioned that physical therapy will probably help that heal up, so I'm now screaming, "Get me in PT!" ☺

With that being said, I should be receiving a phone call next week to start, yippee! I'm eager to get going, for I still feel weak and tired at times. I know a lot of that is the busy-ness of life and having a family to take care of, but I also feel as though much of that is because I have lost a lot of my muscle tone over this period.

Pain-wise, I feel a lot better and am weaning off my medication. I still get twinges in my back complete with muscle spasms, especially in the morning, but overall I'm already feeling so much better than prior to surgery (THANK YOU, DOC!) If it was not for the sciatica behind my knees going down to my toes, I think I'd be so much more active (energy depending). I am walking every day, and plan to keep extending the distance as much as I can.

I've been given the approval to start driving up to half-hour increments. I must start off slowly and work my way up. From my residential location, that's a huge help. Everything seems to be so far away. I have been driving now for over a week, and at first it was very painful. I never realized just how much you use your abdominal muscles until I first got behind the wheel that day. Also, twisting is a bit difficult, and I'm not all that comfortable relying solely on mirrors, so I have my daughter keep an eye out for me as well. Once again, my surgeon was so wise when he told me to heed the signals of my body. I'm taking it slow to be safe. I carry precious cargo!

Both incisions have closed completely, and I'm using a cream called Revitol to see if that helps fade it a little. I found that online through a Google search of the best scar removal creams. It came in second before Mederma, so I hopped on Amazon and bought a jar. I've been using it twice a day, so we'll see how that goes. After everything I've been through, I don't even mind if the scars stay - they're BATTLE SCARS, baby!

The muscles around my abdomen are still very tender, and they are hard along the incision line. I've heard from others who have had c-sections that it's normal and will eventually go away. That was a relief, for Oscar hit me square on in the stomach with his popped basketball (crazy dog), and I buckled in two. Ouch!

Before I move on to Kat's book, I just want to shout again to my friends and family for helping me out so much. Kathy has been a godsend to me, driving from a half-hour away to take me into Phoenix for my appointments, and I can't thank her enough (even though this book is hers, coincidentally, LOL). Also to Shannon for being my rock these days. My two girls are working so hard to help me that it brings tears to my eyes. With my oldest in college now, I call us the Terrific Trio. And to all my online friends, thank you for the emotional support. You have been there through the tough times, and I will NEVER forget that.

Now on to Kat! Seven days left. I'm cleaning up the final draft and using the physical proof to do so. It will be released on time, I promise. It's been very busy, but I'm determined to put in whatever hours it takes to finish up. I will have it available right on October 25th via Amazon and Smashwords. Barnes and Noble may take up to a week or so after, but iTunes and Sony I believe are almost instantaneous these days. I'll add the links to my site as they appear and announce on my Facebook page when it's present at the various sites. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I still recommend the surgery for those in my position, even though the recovery time is so long. It is worth a few months of weakness to live a pain-free and relatively normal lifestyle. Just make sure you don't do too much or your body will let you know.

Until next time! Hugs, everyone!!

September 5, 2012, I went in for an ALIF and TLIF surgical procedure on my back. You can review the entire story in the posts below, but this is to be my one month update.  As you can see from the photo, I am still using the walker, but I am up and moving around - yay!

I mentioned before that on my first weekend home I developed sciatica in my calves and behind my knees. Yes, I know, that's a very strange spot to have it, especially since I have very little pain in my buttocks and thighs. I hardly notice it there. But that has continued now two weeks later. (I'm sincerely wishing it would heal up, but I'll continue to keep you posted on that.) 

I can say that the sciatica has eased. It's not quite as intense as it was at first unless I stand for too long or sit for too long. You can see in the photo attached that I am standing with my left leg bent. That is the most painful leg, and the pain can escalate quickly. When standing, I must continue to move from side to side or the pain becomes so incredible that I am forced to my knees. At one point, I had to crawl out of my closet until my daughter, Shannon, could help me climb back into bed. The same thing has happened from sitting too long. One time following a trip to the restroom, I almost 'lunged' (would have if physically strong enough, haha) back to my bed. I immediately lie flat when this happens and wait for the pain to lighten up. That is the worst problem that I'm facing at this point in time, and I plan to speak with my surgeon and pain management doctor in the next couple of weeks when I go in for my follow ups.

Drivers beware! I am back on the road! 

No need to run for the hills; I am just teasing. I'm not dangerous, I promise. 

I drove for the first time following surgery on Wednesday of this week, just a quick half-mile journey to a doctor's office down the street from us. The appointment was for my daughter, and I made her stop texting and put down her phone and help me with an extra pair of eyes and ears because of my limited motion. I never truly realized how much you use your abdominal muscles when you drive. Perhaps it was because I was nervous or perhaps because I drive a BMW ("the man and car are one" is right ,sheesh!), but I found it to be a bit more difficult than I thought. My surgeon had told me to heed my instincts on driving, so for now I will only drive when necessary and follow his instructions to keep my journeys to 10-15 minute trips on local streets only. This is not one thing I will be daring about.

Following the doctor's appointment, we had to make a quick stop to drop off her prescription, and by the time I was done I had to take a pain pill and lie down. It was exhausting, which is such a strange feeling because I'm so used to being active and busy. You can really tell that your body is not quite ready to go full-steam ahead, and I am constantly reminded when I do "too much". 

When you come out of surgery, the hospital staff is very insistent that you monitor your 'movements'. Since my appetite still has not returned completely, I had been resorting to drinking shakes, eating fruits and having a light dinner. I ended up having a blockage that almost sent me to the ER. That was a miserable time, and probably the worst part of my recovery so far. So for those who find themselves not following orders to a "T" and slacking off a bit, please make sure you're taking care of business! It took me a couple of days afterwards to feel better, and I'm still feeling nauseous at times.

After all my frightening news, I do have some icing to go on the cake! The good news is that both incisions are healing up very well. The back incision is completely closed and now a long, pink scar. I still have two steri-strips left on my abdomen out of six, and one spot where one had fallen off is still slightly open, but they are not giving me any trouble at all. If it wasn't for the sciatica in my calves right now, I don't think I would need any pain pills at all. Every now and then, it seems as though I can "feel" the rods in my back. They ache a bit. I also have a tender spot in my stomach, but I believe it's just muscle pain where they're coming back together.

I am very excited to get to the point where I no longer need medications at all. Going back to just a multivitamin is my goal, and I'm determined to get there sooner or later. I would be a lot more active with my walking if not for the sciatica, but again I believe part of that is my body telling me not to do too much. I run an active household with children and pets, so the bending, twisting, lifting and household chores that I'm not supposed to be doing sometimes have me doing more than I should. I know, I know, I must take it easy. It's just easier said than done when there's no one else around at the time to help. 

Of course I must get back to work! I have been online a little bit here and there, but I am mostly keeping my hours limited. I still have some sleepless, uncomfortable nights, so I try to rest during the day. However, I have finalized the cover for Kat's Last Chance, The Evans Family, Book Four and still plan to release it this month. My official date for release will be October 25th, barring any further complications. 

I hope this pleases everyone! I know a lot of you have been waiting for the arrival, and I promise you that even though I've been out of the loop for some time I am still preparing to have an on-time release.

This is my first reveal of the new cover. I hope you love it as much as I do. A special thanks goes out to An Author's Art once again for taking my words and turning them into magic for me. Thank you Laura!

Physically, I will continue to focus on recovery. I will see my surgeon again on the 16th, and we will then determine when I can start physical therapy. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to get moving again. It's been a long road, and it feels as though the end is in sight.

Lastly, I really must put out a giant thank you for all the cards, flowers, well wishes and best hopes that I've received from you all. I plan to frame all the get well cards and mount them on the wall in my office. Every time I open the PO Box, I have been brought to tears by the kindness you all have shown me. (Ask Shannon on our blog if you don't believe me, haha). You are the best readers out there, and I can't say thank you enough! It has helped me remain optimistic in times of pain, and it has warmed my heart to know that so many people care. Thank you all so much!

Hello everyone!

I should start off and say that my initial photo is probably the worst I’ve looked and felt in my entire life, so please bear with me, LOL.

It has been 18 days since my surgeries, and I thought it was about time I wrote up a post to share with everyone how things are going. For my readers, I am not only sharing my recovery, but I am also hoping that other people who must go through an ALIF and TLIF may learn something from my experience. There are so many conflicting stories online that I was frightened by some and reassured by others. Someone had mentioned that a lot of people go through the procedure following an accident and are most likely exaggerating for lawsuit purposes, so my story will be an honest account.

Okay so let's get to it. I checked into the hospital on September 5, 2012 at 5 am. I was nervous, but everyone was very nice. My procedure was done in a new hospital that specializes in neurosurgery and orthopedic surgery, so it was small, intimate and everyone was very friendly.  After my intake, they took me in the back room, had me change, set up my IVs, took some vitals and then knocked me out. The last thing I remember is being wheeled away and saying goodbye to my husband.

The next thing I knew, I was in a large, spacious room with a huge wall-mounted television and someone laughing at me because I kept wiggling my toes and exclaiming “I can feel my toes!”. That became a joke amongst the nurses because I guess in my medicated mind I was very affected by that. The rest of the first day was pretty much a blur, although I do remember my two children coming in to see me for a short time. The introductory photo is from their visit. You can probably tell by the lost-in-space look on my face that I have no idea what's happening, haha.

Because I was so loopy, they did not make me get out of the bed the first day. The second day was the worst. I woke up in a lot of pain, and it took them some time to realize that they were under-medicating me. I had been taking 30mg of Percocet daily, and they had been giving me 10mg. Even though I was in a lot of pain, I was a trooper because I was so eager and did get out of bed and walk a few feet. I’m not going to lie; there were tears pouring down my face the entire time. At that point, my husband told the nurse I needed the larger dose of medication. They came running in and gave me a straight shot of morphine, and I was out again for the rest of that day.

Day three was so much better. I got up and moved around a lot easier. Once my medication was regulated, I was so happy to be able to lie with my legs flat, and I wanted to start moving right away. It was great to get up and move. I was able to shower, but I still was not ready to go home.

Although my outlook was fantastic, and I was motivated enough to be a favorite patient, my surgeon was not in any rush to send me home. By day three, they began loading me up with stool softeners and laxatives. I believe I took four. Trust me - that worked! I thought I would be able to go home on Saturday, but my surgeon wanted to keep me in for that fifth day. I agreed, for it was nice to just catch up on all that missing sleep I’d had over the past year of pain.

Sunday arrived and my docs came in to tell me they would let me go home that afternoon. I had already showered with a shower chair and was walking every day, so I felt ready. It’s strange, you do feel weak, but you also feel so much better without the kind of pain you had been going through. So I went home on day five.

A side story about my incisions:  

The ALIF and TLIF surgeries require both a front and back incision. I have what appears to be a large c-section incision in my abdomen around my bikini line and then a four or so inch incision in my back. My understanding (and please don’t hold me to this) is that the approach surgeon comes in, opens my abdomen, pushes aside my intestines, clamps apart my vena cava and aorta so my surgeon could reach my back. From there, my back surgeon did the approach, removed the collapsed disc, ground down the two vertebra to insert the clamp.  Then they rolled me over, opened my back, inserted the rods and screws, ground out the extra bone that had been pinching my nerves and used that bone as my bone graft to begin the infusion. They reported that everything went so well that I was done 2 1/2 hours earlier than expected – see everyone? I’m tough! LOL. When I originally came out of surgery, my abdomen was so bloated that I appeared to be about seven months pregnant. Since then some of the air has escaped, and the discomfort has eased. Initially it was a very strange feeling.

The incision in the front has steri-strips holding it closed, and there are a couple of tender spots there. Rolling out of bed has been what I’ve been doing for months, so that wasn’t too hard to learn to do. The back incision sometimes bothers me, as I spent a lot of time in bed sleeping. That one you can feel, so I’ve noticed I can’t really move much at night.

I wear a back brace 24/7 that I love. It’s not required to wear while you’re sleeping, but it’s so comfortable that I like to have it on. 

Once home:

I returned home Sunday afternoon and moved straight into my office where there is a day bed. It’s lower than my master bedroom so easier to get in and out of. The room isn’t that large, but my dogs joined me in there, and the bed is loaded with pillows to help support me. I spent most of the first week resting and watching some television. I didn’t attempt to get on the computer because I was still medicated. By the end of the week, I was actually considering moving from the walker to a cane, and then the sciatica in my calves started. The pain was so intense at first we thought I may have developed blood clots. To check that out, I put my TENS unit on the area, and the tingles went straight down to my toes, so I know it was nerve related. I had heard on other sites that it was not uncommon to have sciatica flare up. After all, they were jiggling my nerves and clearing the pinched nerves that had been so inflamed for over a year. I imagine it’s going to take some time to heal up. I went back to my walker immediately.

My friend, Kathy, brought me in to see my surgeon on Tuesday the 18th, and he said everything looked great. I mentioned the problem with my legs. He was a bit stumped and told me to keep an eye on it. I promised I would.

 On Thursday, September 20th, I rolled out of bed and fell, landing straight on my butt. My legs had completely given out. I felt funny, because I was one of those ladies saying “I’ve fallen and can’t get up!”. Unfortunately, my middle daughter had already left for school, so it was just my youngest (who was still asleep), so it was up to me to manage to get up. I did after a few moments, and I ended up being okay. It was just a good reminder to make sure I’m moving slowly and not doing too much.

I have had many people come to visit me during the day and keep an eye out on me. It’s been very helpful, and the amount of kindness everyone has shown me has brought me to tears many times. A special thank you goes out to Kathy, Michelle, Jenny, Yvette, Naomi, Rocky, Megan, Betsy, Kristi and DeOnna for wonderful dinners, rides and support!

I also wanted to make a mention for the beautiful flowers and cards I’ve received. Again, they have brought me to tears (I think I’m just not used to people being so nice to me, LOL). Thank you to Danny and Michelle, my family, Linda, Ilil, Christine, Karen and Cheri. Also there is a thank you to Belinda, Vickie, Linda and Ilil again, Rosie, Joe, Stephen, Margaret, David, Mary, Elissa. You all have been so wonderful. 

So the recovery is coming along, slowly but surely. My surgeon says I should be able to start driving in two more weeks, although I can only stay on local roads for 10-15 minute drives. I’m hopeful the sciatica in my legs will ease soon too.

It has been eighteen days now. While I’m still using my walker, I am feeling overall better. Shannon had her Homecoming dance last night. I released my walker and allowed her to support me for this photo. If not for the sciatica in my calves, I feel I’d already be using the cane. So I’ll give it another couple of weeks to strengthen up, and I start physical therapy after two months. I’m finally on the road to a pain-free life again, yay!

Lastly, an especially giant thank you to my two younger children. They have been exceptionally helpful and understanding and I don’t know how I’d be getting through all this without them. While my oldest is in college, she’s been checking in on me every day, and that reminds me what a great family I truly do have. Thank you all for your support and well wishes!